What Our Lips Are Telling Us - Part 3

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13. Even a light lip-brushing is a huge turn-on for our brains

“It probably depends on who you ask -- it’s culturally influenced,” the Expert says. The famous Indian sex text the Kama Sutra advises going for the lips, of course, as well as the inside of the mouth, the breasts, the throat and most places on the face. Science also provides some clues: It turns out that a disproportionate amount of brain space is taken up with processing information from the lips compared to the rest of our bodies. “Just a light brush on them stimulates a very large part of the brain -- an area even more expansive than would be activated by sexual stimulation below the belt,” the Expert writes.


14. Men like tongue more than we do

Remember when Sex and the City’s Charlotte got totally grossed out when one of her dates started licking her face? The moment captures a real distinction between how men and women like their kisses. “There’s this huge gender divide: Men tend to express a preference for wet, sloppy, open-mouthed kisses, and women are constantly complaining about too much tongue,” the Expert says. There’s a reason guys do what they do: An open mouth allows men to dose women with small amounts of libido-raising testosterone via their saliva. “If he’s kissing her over weeks or months, it enhances her libido over time,” the Expert says.

15. Kissing while (mildly) intoxicated can up the passion

To drink or not to drink? On the one hand, drugs and alcohol stimulate some of the same brain chemicals as a kiss, so you could mistake your substance-induced high for passionate feelings about your partner, the Expert says. But, that said, if you’re looking for something casual, kissing can be better after a drink or two (and alcohol can release your inhibitions, making a kiss more likely). “It can wind up feeling better or worse -- it depends on how drugs affect your sense of reality,” the Expert says. “Kissing acts as a drug on top of everything else, so when there’s a lot riding on it, go with most accurate impression of what you feel,” which is probably more obvious when you’re sober.


16. Kissing never gets old -- even when we do

While there hasn’t been much study of kissing and longevity, there’s reason to think that kissing is vital -- and enjoyable -- throughout our lives, the Expert says. “Kissing is so important to long-term bonds,” she says. ”It helps to maintain a relationship.” So she suspects kissing plays an important role from birth to death.


17. Kissing can actually help you make up

Forget chocolate and flowers -- just plant one on her lips. Though a woman may profess to be unmoved by a kiss from the man she’s fighting with, research has found that a smooch (or a few) paves the path to forgiveness, the Expert writes. The effect may come from the oxytocin that’s released during kissing. Kissing may reduce levels of cortisol -- the stress hormone -- coursing through our bodies during a fight. “Reducing stress is a pretty good way to amend a fractured relationship,” the Expert says.


18. Men see kisses as a means to an end

No doubt: Both men and women enjoy kissing. But while women tend to ascribe big-picture significance to a kiss (is he "The One"?) guys often smooch for short-term gain. Exhibit A: Prostitutes don’t kiss their johns, and the clients don’t seem to mind. For men, while kissing can be meaningful, it also can be all about sex, the Expert says. “Men are kissing as a means to an end: They’re swapping saliva so they can swap something else later,” she says. “Women look to a kiss to assess relationship status. We are sensitive to things that tweak out compatibility, and from an evolutionary perspective, men don’t need to do that.”

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What Our Lips Are Telling Us

1. Is it in his kiss?

Oh, yes. Osculation, the scientific term for kissing, in many ways says everything about your compatibility with your mate and the health of your relationship. What Our Lips Are Telling Us,We asked an expert, to tackle some of your top questions when it comes to smooching. Curious to know what happens inside our brains and bodies when we do it? Wondering whether a kiss means more to you than to your guy, or whether you can make your make-out session even better?



2. Kissing isn’t just about chemistry

While two strangers might serendipitously find themselves chemically compatible, more often the best kisses grow out of an emotional connection and ambience, Expert says. “So much of a great kiss is understanding the needs and desires of another person -- there’s no one-size-fits-all formula to it,” she says. How-to guides “focus on where to put your hand or how to set the mood, when so much of it is intuitive that you make the person comfortable, secure and safe. It’s an ultimate expression of how you feel about them.”


3. Kissing is universal

Kissing seems “almost completely universal” among humans today, the Expert says. But it wasn’t always so; she cites the work of anthropologist Helen Fisher, who’s noted that certain South African tribes once “found kissing disgusting” and that it was previously “unknown” among people in parts of East Africa and South America. Still, non-kissing cultures did kissy things like lick, suck or blow on a lover’s face before intercourse, the Expert writes. “Now kissing is exported and we’re using mouthwash and toothpaste, so in some ways the experience is so much better than before it became a common custom,” she says.

4. We always remember our first kiss

If you’re like most people, you remember your first kiss much better than losing your virginity, according to Butler University research. It’s not clear why, but the Expert says it may relate to a kiss being our introduction to sexual behavior -- and to all the important decisions that come with it. “I would expect it has to do with novelty and how much we engage all our senses in the behavior,” she says. “A kiss really works as nature’s litmus test. It tells us whether we decide to pursue a relationship.”



5. Kissing comes naturally but our techniques can evolve

We’re kissed from birth (more on that later) and other social animals seem to kiss, too. Bonobos -- a type of Chimpanzee -- have been known to smooch for up to 12 minutes straight, while giraffes like to entwine necks, and even fish touch lips, the Expert says. So while all of us seem to be programmed to know what to do, we pick up culture-specific techniques from movies and TV. Still, the Expert says, “There are definitely things people can learn to make it a better experience.” Lay off the pressure -- it produces the stress hormone cortisol, a real buzz kill. “Getting to know someone fosters a bond and makes the likelihood of a kiss going well higher,” she says.



6. It’s all about first impressions

A bad first kiss can kill a would-be romance faster than you can reapply your lipstick. In a S.U.N.Y. Albany survey, 59 percent of men and 66 percent of women reported ending a relationship because the first kiss was off. The finding points to the way we unconsciously assess reproductive compatibility through a kiss, so a good kiss may signal a sizzling future under the sheets, the Expert says. Kissing releases chemicals associated with romantic and emotional bonding (oxytocin) and pleasure (dopamine). “A lot of people, especially men, judge how someone might perform later based on kissing,” she says. “If you have that boost in oxytocin, those dopamine spikes, you can’t wait to be with that person.”




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Related Story:Types of Kisses

Types of Kisses

Kissing first time is something very special and emotional. Keep in mind that many are shy about kissing but it does not mean they don't want to kiss or to be kissed. In most cases the kiss is happening spontaneously following the feeling and body language.
It is better to have your first kiss while the two of you are alone. This will help to avoid any unnecessary nervousness and embarrassing situations. The best kiss is one that uses different types such as starting with a small kiss, working into a French Kiss, maybe sucking on your partner's upper or lower lip...

First Kiss

The first kiss should be with closed lips and should be gentle and not aggressive. You don't want to go right for their mouth with yours wide open because that could be a little scary. As you kiss, slowly open your mouth. Just like learning the French language starts out with simple words you should start out with simple kisses and not try to get ahead of yourself. You won't be able to be a great kisser if you can't kiss well with your mouth closed so take your time and work on your skills. Even if you and your partner like French kiss, you should begin with a gentle closed mouth kiss almost every time.

Types of Kiss

Below you can find different types of kisses for different situations. Express your feelings and try kisses with your loved person :-)

	Angel Kiss	This is a sweet, comforting kiss. Gently and ever so lightly kiss your partner either on the eye lid or right next to the eyes. Hold your partner's head with both hands and slowly move their head in the direction you wish your kiss to go... then slowly kiss up towards your partner's eyes and give them a tender kiss on top of their closed eyes.
	Cheek Kiss	A friendly, "I really like you" kiss. Often the preferred kissing method of a first date. With your hands on your partner's shoulders, gently brush your lips across her cheek.
	Butterfly Kiss	With your faces less than a breath away, open and close your eyelids against your partners. If done correctly, the fluttering sensation will match the one in your heart.
	Freeze Kiss	Experiment with this fun kiss. Put a small piece of ice in your mouth, then open mouth and kiss your partner, passing them the ice with your tongue. It's an erotic and sensual French kiss with a twist of cold.
	Eskimo Kiss	With your faces less than a breath apart, gently rub your noses together
	Earlobe Kiss	Gently sip and suck the earlobe. Avoid louder sucking noises as ears are sensitized noise detectors.
	Eyelid Kiss	While your partner is resting or sleeping with eyes closed, very very gently kiss the spot right below their browbone. A very intimate kiss.
	Finger Kiss	While lying together gently suck on their fingers. This can be very seductive and pleasurable.
	French Kiss	The kiss involving the tongue. Some call this the "Soul Kiss" because the life and soul are thought to pass through the mouth's breath in the exchange across tongues. Surprisingly, the French call this "The English Kiss". This is the most popular type of kiss. This involves touching your tongue with your partner's and it can be quite a pleasant experience. There are a few tips to create great French kiss. Open Lips - Open your lips over your partner's slightly more than you would during a regular kiss. This makes it easier to place your tongue in your partner's mouth. Tongue - Place the tip of your tongue on the tip of your partner's tongue. Do not force your tongue too far into their mouth. If you wish, you can play with their tongue by circling theirs with your own. Have fun with it. Explore.
	Lip Sucking Kiss	When kissing gently suck on their lower lip. This can be very exciting.
	Tongue Kiss	A variation of the French kiss. During an open-mouth kiss gently suck on your partner's tongue (not too hard because it may hurt). Very sexy :-) This produces a wonderful, erotic feeling for both!
	Forehead Kiss	The "motherly" kiss or "just friends" kiss. The forehead kiss can be a comforting kiss to anyone. Simply brush your lips lightly across the crown of their head.
	Foot Kiss	An erotic and romantic gesture. It may tickle, but relax and enjoy it! To give a toe kiss by gently suck the toes and then lightly kissing the foot. It helps to gently massage the base of the foot while performing the kiss.
	Hickey Kiss	The object is not to draw blood, but to gently leave a mark that will prove your interlude was not a dream. This is often included in erotic foreplay.
	Hand Kiss	Gently raise her hand to your lips. Lightly brush your lips across the top of her hand. Historically this kiss was performed with a bow, which showed deference to a lady.
	Hot Kiss	Get a hot drink and put some in your mouth. Have your partner gets a hot drink and puts some in their mouth. You then French kiss leaving a sensational feeling.
	Neck Kiss Neck Nibble Kiss	Come up behind the person you want to kiss. Lightly lick the back of their neck, then kiss the back of their neck a few times. Gently nibble up and down your partner’s neck. End with a gentle kiss on the lips.
	Nip Kiss	This type of kiss has to be done carefully, but when done correctly can create a wonderful effect on your date. While suck kissing, gently bite their lip, but be very gentle so as not to hurt your date / partner. This kiss should only be done with someone that you've kissed a few times before; otherwise you may shock your partner.
	Shoulder Kiss	Quietly sneak up behind your partner making sure they do not know what you are going to do. Out of the blue, grab them and gently bite their neck. Make sure to get a few good growls in too. This will surely surprise them.
	Upside Down Kiss	You stand behind your partner (who is seated or lying down) and have them tilt their head back. Then kiss them so that you nibble their lower lip and they nibble yours. This is fun and feels good because you can feel them breathing on your neck as you kiss.
	Lick Kiss	Just before kissing, gently run your tongue along you partners lip whether it is the top or bottom one depending on the position of your lips. Very sensual.
	Vacuum Kiss	While kissing open-mouthed, slightly suck in as if you were sucking the air from your partner’s mouth. This is a playful kiss.
	The Wave Kiss	While kissing your partner, slowly roll your tongue like a wave, up and down. It can be a little sloppy, but it's a unique feeling and always gets a little laugh when it's done.

You will also like: Facts about kissing  | How women Like to get First Kiss | Fun Facts

HOW WOMEN LIKE TO GET FIRST KISS

When you finally gathered the nerve to ask her out, and she accepted the invitation -- nice. Now, don't blow it by messing up your first kiss. The first kiss is something that women place a lot of importance on and may even base how far they let the relationship progress. Their thinking is that if you can't get that right, chances are you won't be able to get the rest right either.

Have good breath

For God's sake, don't blow your chance to kiss her because you ate ludicrous amounts of garlic at dinner and forgot to bring gum! A good way to avoid this is by thinking ahead and keeping spices and foods that tend to linger to a minimum at dinner. So, when you're ordering, hold the onions and stay away from garlic, curry, and other pungent spices, and opt for foods with lemon or mint instead.

Always keep a pack of gum or mints in your car or in your jacket pocket, and pop some in your mouth as soon as you finish your meal or glass of beer. If you even try to kiss her with horrible breath, you can be sure that that will spell the end.

Pick your moment

You have to know when the moment is right. Like if the conversation stops, your eyes meet and neither of you seems to be able to look away, that is the perfect moment to kiss her. So, you should take the opportunity to do so.

If she is trying to get something out of her eye, or is talking about something that she feels really strongly about, don't kiss her and think that you are being spontaneous. She'll probably wonder what possessed you to do so at such an awkward moment. After all, bad timing is not something that you want to be remembered for.

Be alone

There is something about the first kiss that just dictates that the two of you must be alone. It's a moment that you will both want to remember, and a crowd of people surrounding you will not enhance this particular memory.

If you and your girl are at a crowded restaurant or club, or with other people, and you get the feeling that she'd like to be alone with you, ask her if she'd like to accompany you somewhere. Take her for a walk or a drive, get into your own intimate party of two, and wait for the sparks to start flying.

Don't ask

Never ask a woman for her permission to kiss her. Despite what you might think, women, in general, like it when their man takes charge, especially during a passionate moment. Asking for her permission will make you seem timid and unsure; not sweet and sensitive. So, be a man and kiss her.

Of course, before you do so, you must be sure that she wants you to. Check her body language: if her body is facing, leaning toward, or touching yours, and she is smiling, biting her lip, or playing with her hair, chances are that she's interested in you. So, pick your moment and go for it, boy.

Take it easy

This moment should feel like it is moving in slow motion. There is nothing that will turn a woman off faster than a guy who moves too quickly, especially if this is the very first time you are even going to kiss her.

So relax, take a deep breath and make the moment last. Enjoy it and appreciate every second of it.

Find out if it's okay to touch her...

Close your eyes

While eye contact is good up until this point, make sure to close your eyes while you are kissing her. There is nothing weirder to a woman than a guy who kisses with his eyes wide open.

If she catches you with your eyes open, she may even think that you are not really enjoying the moment, and feel insecure as a result. Besides, a great kiss is much more enjoyable when you are completely immersed in it, and closing your eyes will help to block out any distractions.

Touch her

Don't go from talking across a table to planting your lips on her face; touch her. Put your hands on her hips or around her waist and gently pull her toward you. Then, run your fingers through her hair, and cup her beautiful face in your hands.

Slowly lean in toward her and kiss her sensuously on the cheek, making your way to her lips. While you kiss her, caress her body and feel her getting goose bumps.

Pretend she's sleeping

Kissing a woman during an intense lovemaking session is different than kissing her for the first time. Your approach during that first kiss should be as though she's sleeping and you don't want to frighten her.

Your lips should touch hers softly and slowly. And you should gently awaken her sensual side; not force it out of her like an alarm clock scaring her out of bed.

Watch your tongue

Never shove your tongue down her throat -- she might choke. Seriously, if you do this, you will come across as an overeager adolescent who has never kissed a woman before. Keep your tongue to yourself; at least for the first kiss.

If the attraction is so strong that you both feel like you want to take that next step, you can gently tease her with your tongue, but practice restraint. Doing so will only keep her hungry for more.

Don't slobber

I've heard women tell stories of guys who left them feeling like a very friendly St. Bernard had just finished greeting them. I think it's fair to assume that this is not a comparison you would enjoy. So, my last piece of advice is to avoid it by not slobbering all over her. Keep your saliva to yourself.

See Fun Facts About Kissing

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